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The second job I was fired from:

The Remington Club. (Winter c.1990)

Every day the employees pushed a gigantic ice bin around the whole restaurant followed by a gigantic vat of water to fill all of the glasses before the drooling masses of crones sat down to gum their food.

I got fired on my birthday for messing with the ice bin, I rode on top of it like a surfboard, while friends Mike Mike, Jason, Ryan, Chris and Tom pushed me singing happy birthday.

I ended up falling off spilling sixty gallons of ice like a giant tidal wave across the dining room’s main section, destroying a table, carpeting and dishware, causing the dining room to open a half hour late. After the boss, who thought we were friends just because we were both Jews, got done yelling at me I demanded to be given my paycheck immediately. I left in my uniform and walked to a bank to cash it. I then went to the skate shop up the street with the money and bought my self a new complete skateboard set up, and new hat, shirt, underwear, pants, socks and shoes to celebrate my failure and my birthday simultaneously.

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