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While serving ar Port Clarence, I volunteered to fly over to Teller and teach the students (all 100 of them) about US Military history. I also fixed their icecream machine, for which they praised me and tried to feed me blubber, a stringy wet sanguine substance that in no way resambles the prefectly white cubes of tofu like stuff I had previously invisioned. Don't eat blubber.
After recieving numerous offers from several fathers of young ladies (12-15 years of age at most... Its true what you've heard about the lack of genetic materials in remote villages) I chose the schoolhouse floor as my sleeping quarters. I was good and returned to my barracks the next day with a clear conscience. But then Mookie called; Mookie, a 13 year old eskimo girl with amorous intentions. Then she called again... and again. For a weeks she called. "When are you coming back? Will you have dinner at our house?..." Talk about feeling skeevy.. yuck... I will NEVER fix an icecream machine again. Ever.

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The Life & Times Of Jason

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